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"Somewhere over the rainbow......"
Learning to live without Murphy
by my side has been the most painful and difficult thing I have ever done. Nothing has come close to the overwhelming,
endless sense of "nothingness" that came over me. It's hard to describe it in words. My family and friends,
though supportive, had a very hard time understanding how I could be so completely devestated. I was just tormented
- I could think of nothing else and would wait for night time so I could go to sleep only to be unable to sleep.
Through some miracle (Murph looking out for me?), I found
my way to Whisper In The Heart,
Lin, whispersmom's website. After reading Whisper's
story I knew that there was at least one other one out there who would understand what I was going through. She, Murph,
and Whisper then led me to the Pet Bereavement Board. It was there that I "met" the most wonderful, loving, and caring
hearts anywhere. Even though the pain and sadness remain, I know that others really do understand how losing my sweet
Murph could be as awful as it has been. I will never forget the kindness, patience, and understanding of these truly
remarkable people - all reaching out to others even as their own hearts hurt. One of my most memorable experiences (which
I'm sure our angels up above arranged) was when I was able to meet one of our "angels" here on earth, Mo's mom Carol.
We had only 2 short hours together, but in that time, a friendship and a bond was formed that will last a lifetime.
That meeting was instrumental in helping me to see beyond my own grief, and to rejoin my family and be able to open my heart
to them and my 4 other goldens who had been missing their (here but not here) mom.
Very slowly, I guess I am learning to accept what I cannot
change, even though I will always want him with me. My life will never again be the same; there will always be a piece
missing, a walk not taken, a hug not shared, a part of my heart not healed......my Murph is safekeeping those cherished things
until the time when we can share them once again....
"Through the darkness,
I can see your light.
And you will always shine,
And I can feel your heart in mine...."
The beginnings of Murph's "stairway
to heaven" garden"
A meeting of hearts.....
Mo's mom Carol and me on our "date!"
"Bridgemom" hugs!
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